October

Wow October already?! Times for ghost and goblins, Leaves falling. October has been quite busy for us. We have a new house so that means a new school and alot of changes to our life

Becoming stonger as a family has been the main focus, Money can be really tight and hurt alot of families in the making, Trust me I have been there haha. its getting closer till the big day haha still waiting for April but it will come soon.

Work has become really slow for both of us, so were just enjoying being able to still go in everyday hoping things will pick up so we dont have more worries than already.

This month has actually been pretty good I have came to realize that no matter how old you are you need a best friend and you need to ask your self am i a good friend. You need that one person that isnt your spouse or kids lol to talk too to hang out with and get away. If you have that person make sure they know that they still remain special to you. People change and your friendships will change. True friendships will get through tough situations and disagreements. Even if your friend makes u angry and u dont agree make sure they know that it will pass and they still mean the world too u. What Im saying is that one day there wont be a tomorrow so keep friends and family close even if its not everyday make sure they know you care. Im trying to do this because I havent been the best person to some people and I regret those who are not as close as they were because they truly were dear to me. Being stubborn can affect not just yourself but many others. Even if its a card or a call anything helps.

Anyhow, halloween is getting close and my girls are super excited for costumes and candy. Im going to have 2 blood suckers for all hallows eve this year it will be super fun and I will be sure to post some pictures

today and rain

Today is so beautiful and I wish I was at home with a cup of tea and a blanket, this is my favorite time of year leaves changing, Kids walking to school, running for cover because of the downfall. Soon we will smell spice and cinnamon and joyful holidays are just around the corner, ooh I cant wait!!! One week and one day till Autumn. We should all take in little things like that more and just enjoy everyday life and be thankful for arising every morning to hear the birds and sit in traffic. A little less negativity and just let then sun shine while you can.

finally time to say " I Do"

Brad and I have been together for 4 years going on 5 May 2010 and we have decided to finally on April 17, 2010 we will walk down the isle to make us a union of love, passion and to be together as a whole for what we hope is forever.

Brad and I met in 7th grade at Thomas Jefferson Jr high we were about 12 or 13 we had Utah history together, He always looked off my papers and was what some would call a bully.

He would pull my curls to watch them bounce and spit paper across the room to get my attention. I had a horrible secret crush on him, My friends would say he is a trouble maker stay away...unfortunatly I listened and lost touch with Brad over the years I seen him here and there

in High school but he always had better things to do. And I was focused on just trying to get through my classes. I was going to be a mom at 17. That really caused me to stray away from my feelings for Brad even though when I seen him I just got butterflies, he says it was probably morning sickness, I call it forbidden love that would soon be forgotten.

Well School was done and I made it, Baby and all. I went through hell and back being in a rough sad sad relationship with Cloe's dad. After the pain we split and I thought my world had ended.

Time went on and I grew stronger but was still really lonely like something was missing a light I have always had was dim and almost gone, We moved to Magna to a cute little apartment and I had a Roomate who was pretty rowdy and loved fun, Well one day after what was the longest work day ever I come home with Laptop in one hand and baby in the other but there are two handsome cowboys sitting in my living room with my friend who decided to throw a house party, Which I didnt find out about until the guest were arriving. Anywho one of these boys stood out to me my eyes connected and it made my heart fully pound like it was going to rip through my chest I just tried to breath and get over this feeling and put the baby down and went in my room and tried to settle.

But something about the boy on the couch was still bugging. Who is that? I knew it but I just couldnt think of his name and why it was making my tummy twirl?! An hour or so came by and wow it was noisey no room for any zen sleep this was too much so like the nerd I am, I read a book on the web called the Little Voice. After being so into this webbook I heard a knock at my door "Go Away" I said. They didnt! So I pulled myself away from this amazing book and answered and there he stood this good looking tall drink of oh my goodness lol. He said hey stranger I brought U a drink and I say u are? "its me Brad! uuugh it was my Brad! He sat and talked to me for a bit then said come out and enjoy the party. Well I dont know if it was the cosmo or if it was him but I did we danced and made a few people pissed off like the girls that came to hang out with those boys.

Well that night ended and I wasnt sure if I would ever see him again because there was so much drama that came with us just trying to hang out between his buddy and those girls five days later they were back for another party lol this one was intense everyone was in and out I had been shopping all day just got a new tattoo I was pumped and even better when I seen him again we hung out the whole night it was awesome. There on every night we would talk until 3 or 4 in the morning, days I would run on 2 hours of sleep. My light it was slowly coming back he was okay with dating a girl with a toddler, we hadn't made it official yet and didnt hang out for a couple months but in may 2005 at the Sand dunes we went on a ride I scared the day lights out of him that night he was mine and I was 100% his.

He accepted my little girl as his own, his family took her in and that was amazing. Almost 2 years into it we had a beautiful little girl and that really brought Brad into a new light, He was a daddy of 2 he said. That made my heart grow to love him more and more. He is my other half he is my outspoken side and I complete him by being focused and soft hearted. He is tough and dangerous but I know his weaknesses I love him and always will he is my heart, my soul, my best friend and truly the love of my life!

It is far beyond a Fairytale its more like a rollercoaster with loops that u never know where they will take u. There have been wonderful times and really really bad times but I will stay on this ride as long as possible and when the time comes I will always say what a blast. Never Changing a Single turn. I love you Brad And Im looking foward to become Mrs. Winders Xoxo!

lagoon

Haha this was a fun day, Even though Brad is a big guy he is a big whimp he didnt want to go on the rocket and we got on there first ride of the day it was great and the last ride of the day it was really fun. I cant wait till the kids are older so they can go with and enjoy it

24th of july

We decided to go riding up at cedar fort or 5 mile pass as some know it by it was pretty fun!
Alot of rocks bushes and trails not so much where I like to ride but it was good to get away

SPRING FLOWERS

These tulips grew crazy this year and they are beautiful i have a few that are kind of feathery that i have never seen but they really turned out great!!!

MY new WARRIOR!

So I got a new 4 wheeler it is my new baby haha it is super fast and hard to get used to but a blast we are going to the dunes saturday to test the bikes out, Brad took the girls out yesterday and boy did they have a great time! Brooklyn's eyes were as big as golf balls and Cloe' was trying to stay calm but she couldn't help but have a huge grin and giggles as well!

I will be posting new pics from our little trip monday Im the new Yamaha mamma! :)

Mommies day off!

Brooklyns new fishy kiss face! :) My big girl on the swing!!

She is always on this weird bouncy thing!

Brooklyn was selling everyone ice cream!

Cloe' loves the rock wall!

Wednesday was my day off, So Cloe' had a little friend from school over and we went and played at the park it was great, just hangin' out with the girls.

Our sleepy bum!

This is pretty funny every single time I mean every time we go shopping or somewhere

that Brooklyn has to be in a cart, she always falls to sleep no matter how loud the store is

she zonks pretty funny actually watching her get to the comfy state. I finally got a picture

of this action haha! You would think at

almost 3 she would be awake and enjoying the

new places daddy takes us to explore! And

of course Cloe' will always be there in every pic

she surely isn't camera shy!!

a couple pics and updates

the pics above are from a few trips that we have taken to different parks around the neighborhood. The girls absolutly love being outside, and not couped up when the weather is
nice, I happen to love the moments that I get to spend with my chikkies.
Brad and I have been working alot around 50-60 hours a week so
every little moment we can we like to spend it with the angel bugs in our lives!

FINALLY done with the bathroom!

We have redone our bathroom we still have a few touch ups and thing to add to it but here are a couple pics of it now and before!

*SPRING TIME* IS IT EVER COMING???

So i'm getting antsy I cant wait for sun and warmer temps, when its over 45 I start jumping

for joy. We just got a camping trailer and it makes me crave the smell of mountains and the lakes

the sun, the amazing moments that come when spring time hits.

We have been making adjustments to our house

we redid our bathroom and still have a few items

to finish but its starting to look awesome.

Brads mother and I are starting to become super

close she is teaching me about gardening and all that great stuff that she knows, which I appreciate more than ever these days, our family is a bit closer to eachother than we have ever been. Just trying to make sure we dont go to bed angry and make sure the little ones know they are loved more than anything in the world.

I have became alot closer to my daughters they are

growing and I dont want to miss it for anything. The baby is finally potty trained, and Cloe is 5 going on 15 haha. They are my world!

Things are slowly getting better with Brad and I but it will take a bit.

We are hanging on to the love we have left to make sure we can rebuild what is

not worth throwing away. All we have is eachother so we need to make sure we dont regret

one step of the way. and if we do we try to go back and retake the step!

Thanks to my friends for the advice and the honesty that I needed to be the strong person Iam today, without u girls being such a rock to me I dont know if I would make it somedays I love ya 2 ladies!

NOT so fabulous

Well here we are again going into spring and me im looking into ways of changing mine and my girls life for the better. iam a very dedicated woman to many family and friends, not many people give me a chance to be close with them. And that pushes me away, I know when im not wanted around.

I dont like to beat around the bush about stuff just upfront and honesty thats my game!
My life seems to get harder everyday and it slowly breaks my heart till i can get something
back to normal.

For those of my precious friends who are readers probably know what im referring to.
Brad has changed completly since he lost his boss and his family is what he is hurting the most
he is not the man i once fell deeply in love with and that hurts me i trusted him and love him dearly, but its fading and i never thought that would happen.

I try not to complain but it hurts and i will admit i have been crying myself to sleep.
My girls know mommy is sad, but i make sure they know its just a bad day and that dady loves them, im so confused i know what i need to do and have to get through it.

I know its just a lesson that i need to go through!

a change

i decided since im a year older now i want to go for a natural look i went all brown on my hair and i adore it. plus im doing this 10 minute trainer its stacking work outs in 10 mins and its amazing. i want to lose 20 lbs by jan 2010! well heres a new pic of the hair!

OUR VALENTINES

backwards bob ^

Brad's fave Bulldozer ^

My Fave Mr Ron Dunham ^

the intro!

Brad and I never really go without the kids so valetines was so nice

my wonderful coworkers got me front row tickets to monster jam for my bday

it was so fun, although the next day i was so horse from yelling.

I love all things like this so im really thankful that Ford sponsors

alot of these events and that i have great people who knew i would

enjoy this. Thanks!! We had a blast !!

THE BIG 23

So its almost here, for those of u who dont know and i doubt there isnt but brad and i turn 23 on sunday, we have planned dinner with my fave little family, Hopefully we can catch a movie together with just brad and i but that rarely works.

I really need a break so i took this weekend off and hoping i can do some shopping its needed much. Im excited I never make a big deal of my birthday because its just another day, but this year i decided that its making me old not to have a good time and be happy about turning a year older.

I hope that soon i can plan a girls night or something so we can all go out and have fun, But i can wait since most of my dear close friends have newborns and toddlers and have no time.

It will happen soon we will get a break, We can go from mommy pants to the little black dress/slacks lol.

Love ya"ll

potty training

We are potty training miss Brooklyn and it is a bit easier then it sounds well easier thans the advise

that has been given.

But I must say she can be stubborn, Cloe' was so simple she hated being wet or yucky!

Brooklyn goes when she has too but she only wants to wear "unies" lol!

Pullup's were helping so much, but she must be too big for them haha because she hates them

she is doing great. Still wearing diapers at night im not that daring plus i dont want that much laundry :) hopefully she hits this great milestone soon!

SICK OF THIS COLD WEATHER

So me and the girls i think caught yucky colds i feel miserable and look miserable the girls both have this horrible cough today and yucky noses. i have broke out every where running a fever and horrible eyes and sinus headache i feel like im falling apart lol.

and i'am working fabulous i guess i will spread to all these people that are making me work on saturdays. haha just kidding im not bitter just not feeling so well.

I want sun and heat
fishing camping i want summer even spring as long as its warmer than 50 degrees im happy!

silly faces :)

Brooklyn loves to look in a mirror everytime she sees one, well we have a wall in
our house that is just one giant mirror lol so not helpful. but her new thing is to pull silly faces its great and makes us laugh here are a few pics of those posing goofballs i have as children!!!